Lullaby
by FluffyTeta-chan
Summary: After a big fight, Seto is more than glad Yami came back to him. His boyfriend is sleeping next to him and he is sinking in his own thoughts... {My first Prideshipping fic... and the first time in a long time I've written something in first person}


I push blonde locks away from your face.

I can't resist a smile as you curl up next to me, muttering in your sleep.

Sometimes I wonder what kinds of dreams you see that make you so... talkative. 

* * *

There is a little something I will never tell you.  
I can't sleep when you're not here.

I need to feel you next to me, hear your muttering... It is my personal lullaby, if you will... 

* * *

I still can't believe you came back after everything after everything I told you tonight. I thought that after this... you would never want to see me again.

I yelled at you, I called you names... I made sure I would say the right things, hit the right spots and hurt you... hurt you more than anybody ever could.

You always answer me. You always have something to say. No matter what, you need to have the last word.  
But not this time...  
This time, you simply stared at me with those eyes... those eyes that can never hide anything. 

* * *

You closed the door behind you softly... I swear, it would have been so much better if you had slammed it.

I wanted to call out your name.. Scream, run and lock you in my arms...  
Yet all I did, was stare at the door, re-playing in my mind my every word. 

* * *

I tried to get back to work, I tried to get my mind off you...  
No matter how hard I tried, I was still mentally seeking for the tri-colored haired boy with the beautiful, sharp purple eyes.

Every moment you were gone was leading to the realisation- I don't want to lose you.

And yet it seems... I am doing everything in my power to shove you away.

It scares me, you know. It scares me to realise that I love you... that I can't seem to remember my life before you. 

* * *

Pacing up and down in my office, I didn't realise when Mokuba sneaked in.

I told him everything.

"Seto, for fuck's sake, call him! I don't think he's coming back otherwise... not after that..."

Do you know why I didn't call...?  
I am too much of a coward.

I was so afraid you would tell me you never wanted to see me again, I couldn't risk it. 

* * *

That's who I am. I will curse at you and call you names.  
When I have a hard day at work, I am going to unload my pressure on you.

When you will get in a fight with me, I will make sure my every word hurts more than the last.

And then...

I will hold you tightly and plant kisses all over your body.  
I will hurt anybody who as much as considers harming you.

You have no idea what I am capable of doing for you.

But while my sould will be crying out for you, I will capture your lips in my own and not say a word for the rest of the night.

I must be a horrible boyfriend. 

* * *

When I saw you coming through the door I wanted to lock you in my arms... but something inside me was screaming that I should wait.  
Maybe this was it.  
Maybe you had come back to tell me our relationship was over.

"Did you mean them?"  
"Did I mean, what...?" I ask, examining your face, trying to understand what it was exactly that led you back here.

"Everything you said..."  
I can see in your eyes how frightened you are; the words you just spoke took a lot of courage.

The fact that you are back means you are sacrifing your valuable pride for my sake... and I know exactly how much that means.  
For the both of us...

"I never mean... those things I say." was all I managed to whisper.

You came closer... I took you in my arms.

I held you, kissing your hair, muttering awkward and yet truthful apologies.

Holding those tears back was much harder that you would ever think.

I lifted you in my arms, bridal-style and smiled as you were muttering about how you weren't a girl and I shouldn't lift you this way.

I got you on the bed, held and touched you...  
I needed to hold you. You needed me to hold you... 

* * *

Here you are, curled up like a cat next to me, while I am sinking in crazy, painful, scary, beautiful thoughts.  
Thoughts I will never be able to voice...

You open your eyes, looking at me sleepishly.  
You find your way in my arms, mumbling that I should sleep.

Sometimes I think you know each and every one of those thoughts of mine...


End file.
